Vietnamese culture seriously concerns with status (obtained with age and education). The Vietnamese sometimes appear to answer "yes" (dạ) to all questions. However, the way of saying yes is quite polite "Yes, I am listening," "Yes, I am confused," or "Yes, I do not want to offend." "Thua" (meaning please) is added in front of the first name to show respect.

Displays of respect

The respectis the corner-stone of interpersonal relationships in Vietnamesesociety. Normally, respect is conveyed by the use of special terms ofaddress and certain stylistic devices. Yet, it is also expressed bynonverbal behavior. For example, a Vietnamese student who sits quietlyand listens attentively to the teacher wants to express respect to histeacher. This behavior has often been misinterpreted by the Americanteacher as passivity and non-responsiveness.

It is also out of respect that the Vietnamese student avoids eye contactwith his teacher when speaking or being spoken to. By Americanstandards, a person acting in this way would appear suspicious,unreliable, or mischievous. In Vietnamese culture, however, lookinginto somebody's eyes usually means a challenge or an expression of deeppassion. 

The smile,which is sometimes enigmatic to the American observer, is anothernonverbal symbol conveying the feeling of respect in Vietnameseculture. It should be noted that for certain feelings, Vietnameseculture prefers non-verbal communication while American culture is moreinclined to use verbal expression. It is used as an expression ofapology for a minor offense, for example, a late coming to class or anexpression of embarrassment when committing an innocent blunder. Forthe Vietnamese, the smile is a proper response in most situations whenverbal expression is not needed or not appropriate. It is used as asubstitute for "I'm sorry", "Thank you" or "Hi!" instead of a ready yes to avoid appearing over-enthusiastic.

Beside,teachers never say thanks to their students for a small service, suchas closing the window or passing the books around. A smile will do inthis case. The person who gives a compliment never expects a "thankyou" in return. In Vietnamese culture, a verbal expression of thanks inthis case refers to a lack of modesty from the person who receives thecompliment. In this case, a smile or a blush in the face is the properresponse to a compliment. If a verbal response is necessary, he or shewould deny the compliment by saying that he or she does not deserve it.Due to the difference in the way to express the feelings ofappreciation or apology in the two cultures, misunderstandings haveoccurred, of course.

Story telling.Humorously, the Vietnamese are great story tellers and orators.Whenever Vietnamese meet, they talk about their neighbors and friendsas a form of entertainment. Many topics regarded as personal orconfidential within Western country would be openly discussed inVietnam. For example, normal questions when people first met are:

— How old are you? (This information is necessary in order to select the correct pronouns in Vietnamese)
— Are you married?
— Do you have children? Why not? Is there something wrong with your wife?
— How much money do you earn?

Peopleare also very interested in where you have been, who you have seen andwhat you have done. In this way, information flows very quickly. As theresult, the accuracy of the information is not always important to thestory teller.

BecauseVietnamese society values stability in social relations, relationshipstend to be extremely intimate. The Vietnamese are profoundly romantic,not only in a sexual sense but also in their feeling towards theirextended family, their ancestors, their home village and country.

Visitorswill be interested in this guide to regulate their gestures and politebehavior when talking to Vietnamese people. What follows is a summaryof nonverbal behaviors and their meanings in Vietnamese culture.